Thursday, July 06, 2006


By Horst and Kiki Sloat

"Pardon me, sir," said a man with an enormous Afro and a pair of horn-rimmed glasses, "would you care to take the Extreme Burstin' Berry Fruit Slammer Challenge?"

Joel had only planned to grab a few things from the supermarket on his way home from work, but the idea of a challenge intrigued him. "Tell me more," he said, setting down his bag of chives.

"On this table I have two cups," the man explained. "One contains the leading artificially flavored fruit drink. The other is filled with new Extreme Burstin' Berry Fruit Slammer. I challenge you to tell me which beverage is bursting with more fantastic, chugalicious fruit flavor!"

Joel could not resist. "Okay," he said, reaching for the closest cup. He drank down the fizzy, purplish liquid and found himself not entirely displeased by its vague taste of raspberries. Then he took a sip from the other cup. The murky, gray libation had a metallic tang, and almost immediately Joel felt a burning sensation in his throat.

The man who, moments earlier, had seemed like just another friendly promoter of fruit-flavored beverages now smiled devilishly as he removed his glasses and Afro wig. It was none other than the evil Doctor Sauce! Joel tried to scream, but the doctor's diabolical concoction had dissolved his vocal cords.

"Don't you wish you could talk right now?" Doctor Sauce whispered in his ear. "Don't you wish you could warn your fellow shoppers that Doctor Sauce no longer limits his dastardly acts to the world of condiments?"

(Lucky for the English-speaking world, the nephew of Horst and Kiki Sloat has agreed to continue the exciting adventures of Doctor Sauce. Click here to read the first installment of the mighty saga.)

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