Sunday, January 27, 2008

A YETI REMINISCES

By Thorsten Mungren

The large window by the cigarette machine afforded patrons of Rusty's Bar & Grill a commanding view of the snow-capped Rocky Mountains.

"You call those mountains?" the Yeti asked of no one in particular. "Those little pieces of shit?"

The Yeti had been drinking since late morning. He had started with bottles of Bud Light and various wine coolers, and by the afternoon had progressed to whiskey, Malibu and whatever else caught his momentary fancy. And now the Yeti was now thoroughly drunk. His fur, once white as Himalayan snow, was dusted with cigarette ash and tangled into dirty, crusted knots that stank of beer and onion rings.

"Where I'm from, we know what a mountain is," the Yeti muttered, motioning for another drink with his smelly, bandaged paw. "Ain't no real mountains here, that's for damn sure."

Everyone felt sad for the Yeti. He was so far from home. He had no friends, no job prospects, nothing to do at all but sit at the bar and daydream about the mountains of Nepal he so dearly loved.

The Yeti drained his glass of bourbon and stumbled toward the bathroom, pausing at the pool table to tear the head off an unsuspecting lumberjack. And after that, folks couldn't help but feel a little less sad for the Yeti.

10 comments:

sasefina said...

I'd like to hear about that time when the Yeti met Sasquatch.

Martin McFriend said...

Here lies strong clownery.

Scrubby Nub and The Bothered Brigade said...

You can never trust a Yeti, no matter how dressed up or run down.

Anonymous said...

Anthony, you're weird.

david said...

i love this blog...i have to check it everyday like some sick fixation

Robert X. Telfair said...

As a professional yeti hunter, who, in 25 years, has yet to find a yeti, may I please ask for the address of this bar.

Rob Anderson said...

That was funny as hell. Thanks for posting it.

Hugh Jorgan said...

Oh, a YETI! Hahaha! When I was first reading this, I thought it said Yentl, and I just couldn't picture Barbra Streisand would let herself go to such a deplorable condition. Duh! My bad.

George R. Clooney (author) said...

I forgive you. Babs forgives you.

Steve said...

superb