A VERY FUZZY-WUZZY CHRISTMAS

By Thorsten Mungren

Mr. Possum was walking down the street when he saw Farthington Bear sitting on the curb outside the downtown plasma clinic. He was crying.

“Why so blue?” asked Mr. Possum, offering his friend a handkerchief.

“Oh, fiddlesticks,” replied Farthington Bear, wiping his moist eyes. “I’ve been selling my blood every day for a month so I can buy Priscilla Piglet a shiny new bicycle for Christmas. But I still don’t have enough money!”

“Why not ask Kitty Cat for some money?" Mr. Possum suggested. "Or what about Oliver Otter?”

“Oh, that will never do,” said Farthington Bear. “They’ve spent all their money already on yummy foods for the big picnic!”

Just then, a man sat down beside the two animals. “Say, little bear," he said with a smile, "I couldn’t help overhearing your conversation. I think I can help. That is, if you’re willing to sell me your gallbladder and pancreas.”

“I’ve never heard of those things,” said Mr. Possum.

“Neither have I,” said Farthington Bear. “Whatever do they do?”

“Oh, nothing special,” the man said. “But my associates in Shanghai pay good money for bear gallbladders and pancreases. Very good money. They use them to make a soup that increases sexual potency.

"And here is something delicious for you to munch on," he said, handing Farthington Bear a big cookie.

“Hooray, hooray!” cried Farthington Bear, suddenly feeling happier than he had ever felt before. “Hooray for gallbladders and pancreases!” He grabbed Mr. Possum’s paws, and the two animals began dancing in a circle.

Meanwhile, the man made a call on his cell phone, and soon a black windowless van pulled up to the curb. And that was the last thing Farthington Bear remembered, other than the funny-tasting cookie.

Later that day, the little bear woke up in a bathtub full of ice cubes. His tartan vest and bowler hat sat in a pile on a nearby stool, along with a crumpled wad of dollar bills. His tummy hurt something awful, and Mr. Possum was nowhere to be seen. But all Farthington Bear could think about was that SHINY NEW BICYCLE!

(Writer and itinerant ventriloquist Thorsten Mungren has enchanted children for years with his Fuzzy-Wuzzy Club adventure series, including last summer’s delightful romp, War is Hell.)