Friday, March 09, 2007

METH IS SWELL! ANOTHER FUZZY-WUZZY CLUB ADVENTURE

By Thorsten Mungren

There’s one mobile home in the Whispering Pines trailer park where the fun never seems to end. Whose mobile home is it? Why, it’s the Fuzzy-Wuzzy Club’s mobile home, of course!

Look at Farthington Bear, so handsome in his new safety goggles! He’s tending to the glass beakers sitting on the stove. See how their contents bubble merrily above the bright blue flames!

Priscilla Piglet and Harry Hedgehog are sitting on the kitchen floor. They’re crushing up little red cold pills with some pretty stones that Oliver Otter has fetched from the river. Crunch crunch go those pills!

What’s Mr. Possum up to? He’s pouring all sorts of household cleaners into a big bucket, and now he’s stirring the bucket with his favorite walking stick. Oh my, how that bucket smells! Mr. Possum is feeling a little dizzy!

“What a fine time we are having!” cries Farthington Bear. “And soon we will have enough money to build a wonderful new treehouse! Gosh, making meth sure is swell!”

Now a rusted-out Cutlass Supreme pulls up in the driveway, and a tall, thin man gets out. He has long, greasy blond hair and brown teeth, and he’s scratching his arms an awful lot. Why, it’s Doug!

“Shit don’t look right,” says Doug, eying a tray of what is supposed to be freshly cooked crank. He sticks out his tongue and licks a piece. “Tastes like strawberry jam!” he tells the members of the Fuzzy-Wuzzy Club.

“We also made blackberry and boysenberry!” says Priscilla Piglet. “And Millie Mouse is baking one of her yummy pies! Won’t you stay and have a slice?”

Oh, how disappointed and trembly Doug looks right now! So Mr. Possum scurries up and wraps his little arms around the man’s legs. “Don’t be sad,” he says. “Smiles and hugs are always free around here!”

(Author Thorsten Mungren is proud to unveil his latest cute and cuddly contribution to the world of children's literature.)

3 comments:

Hugh Jorgan said...

I hope the Fuzzy Wuzzy Club's trailer is the baby blue one, 'cause that's a HAPPY color! =)

wilson said...

is the fuzzy wuzzy club on public television? i wish it was, because then i'd finally have a legitimate reason for watching pbs naked in my basement at three o'clock in the morning.

George L. Clooney (author) said...

The blue trailer does, in fact, belong to the Fuzzy-Wuzzy Club. The conversion van is their neighbor's, although Pete and J.T. have offered to let some of the taller animals drive.

To my knowledge, PBS has not shown interest in developing a Fuzzy-Wuzzy Club show, yet. However, Mr. Possum hosts a Sunday morning self-help show on WXB 730 AM.