Thursday, May 03, 2007

PRAISE GOD FOR THIS TOUCHDOWN!

By Ralston Krebbs

The football exploded from quarterback Teddy Frangelica's right hand and sailed 50 yards downfield in a flawless, arcing spiral before landing perfectly in the outstretched mitts of wide receiver Albacore Jones. The fleet-footed footballer tucked the pigskin in the crook of his arm and sprinted another 30 yards into the end zone, leaving a bevy of panting and dispirited defensive backs in his wake.

As the crowd cheered his ninth touchdown of the afternoon, Jones dropped to one knee beneath the goalpost, where he bowed his head and mouthed a short prayer. Then he leapt to his feet, thrusting his arms in the air and pointing both index fingers triumphantly toward Heaven before being mobbed by his teammates and also a man in a large bear costume.

At the post-game press conference, when asked about his team's resounding victory and his own record-setting performance, Jones merely smiled and said, "Everything is possible through my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ."

No one gave his comment much thought until the following Sunday morning at church, when Jones was seen dropping a thick stack of bills into the offering plate for the seond time in as many weeks. A murmur of realization rolled through the congregation, and by that afternoon, word had spread to every bookie in town: The fix was in!

(Sports reporter Ralston Krebbs covers high-school football for the Molassasville Daily Inquirer. This is his first work of fiction.)

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I lost 200 clams on that game. To find out it was fixed makes my blood boil. Satan, I want my money back!

wilson said...

to commerate this story, and its far reaching metaphysical implications, i was inspired to write a haiku.

the night i made love
to the robot plays out when
i look at your face

Ralston Krebbs (author) said...

I am honored. And perplexed.

Hugh Jorgan said...

Jesus saves!